We had a really fun weekend which started Saturday morning with booking a trip for Frunty and me to Makadi Bay, Egypt! Daddy has to go to Washington not Boston so we will not travel with him. In Boston, we have several friends with children Frunty's age so we would have had fun while Daddy worked but in Washington, it would have been many long hours alone.

Frunty has been talking about rocketships almost as often as trains since we went to the space expo last weekend. We got a book and each night and even first thing in the morning, Frunty wants to read and re-read all about space travel. So yesterday we took him for the second time to the Euro Space Centre in the south of Belgium. We had to drive through the Ardennes and a snow storm!

After the space museum, we went to the beautiful, Ardenne village called "Redu" where we enjoyed crepes and icecream at Le Fournil. We went there in the fall with Gramma and Grampa too. It was a wonderful day!

This is the daddy writing: The other day we were all getting cozy in bed ready for sleepy time and I was reading a story about outerspace exploration with F nestled in my arms. Mommy and I have been discussing sleeping arrangements when the Tiny Baby arrives. This evening, we asked F. where Tiny Baby would sleep. He pointed to the little nook in the Mommy's arms and said, "Right there." to which we responded, "oh, okay, but where will you sleep?" and he pointed to where was sitting and answered, "Here, with daddy." F. seems very willing to share his parents with Tiny Baby for now.

I was re-reading my blog just now and wanted to update a few things. Frunty never wanted to wear those underpants after the first couple of days and said he wanted boxer shorts instead. So last night he wore a pair for a little while and came over to me at one point and said that they were wet but they were perfectly dry. He is such a funny, little guy.

This schooling at 2.5 years old is really "federal day care" as my one friend pointed out and it is housed in schools instead of daycare buildings due to lack of space. I am checking out another programme tomorrow for children 4 and under to come with caregivers for organized activities. Anytime from 9-12pm, Monday to Friday, and they can wear diapers and I can give a snack and if Frunty feels sick we can go home or if we have the opportunity to spend the week in Germany, like we did last week, we can go with Daddy. Frunty can learn just as much if we provide the environment for him to do so and we want him to figure out potty training on his own terms, in his own way.

Frunty has attended a "stage" during two afternoons at the Little Gym and he really liked it. He was allowed to wear diapers and Marie Pierre changed him happily. Frunty really enjoyed himself and we have signed him up for an Easter Spring stage as well. So I know that he does very well without me and this fills me with much happiness. The whole point of us practising "attachment parenting", as I have recently heard it termed, is to raise a secure child who can enjoy independence...when he is ready. When HE is ready. Not when I am ready for him to be independent.

Sometimes at Mandarin lessons on Monday afternoons, Frunty sits at the table with the other two children and listens well to the teacher. This last class, he all of a sudden wanted to sit on my lap while listening. There are moments when he needs to be reassured that we are there for him. Because I am in a position to do that for him, and because my husband supports me in this, I want to.

And I will put up with being called a "hippy" or having people tell me almost daily that "he should be in school". Well, the other week, we went to Dr. Willemot who has 5 children and she really surprised me because she is Belgian and I thought she supported the philosophy here about putting children in creches at 3 months and then directly into "school" at 2.5. But instead, she thnks the oppposite. I was really surprised.

I was really re-assured recently by an article I read on the website www.hugabub.com that states that "attached parenting" does not mean "spoiling" ones' child.

And last but not least, Frunty is learning tons of stuff WITHOUT the stress of having to use a toilet. I take him to lots of activities with other children. Yesterday he showed me a yoga position and said, "Mommy, you try it. It's good for you." I was FLOORED. He learns sports at the Little Gym. He plays computer games called "La Petite Famille" from Daddy and a "Canailloux" game from his Nonni when he needs some down time. I take Frunty to the doctor/physiotherapist (the sport one who is nice) where he picks up lots of stuff. It looks like he is playing but afterwards he asks me if my back feels better and later he tried to rub it for me. We took Mowgli to the vet and Frunty sat on a chair and watched Mowgli get weighed, have his heart listened to and his yearly vaccination administered. He was very interested in it all and the vet was very impressed that he sat and paid attention the whole time.

Frunty learns Mandarin on Mondays and I take him to the library for a once-a-month "On lit, Bebe" programme as well as swimming when his nose isn't running. He loves his Japanese train video and those little friends that gave it to him. He tries to help me in the kitchen and brought over a chair yesterday to watch me make a salad. He tried the radish and spit it out but at least he tried. He loves cracking eggs and then frying them up.

In Germany, he learned about Daimler Benz cars at the museum, and how to enjoy "butter fish" and how fun it is to kick snow and soak his little feet in the hot tub while I soaked my back. All of this with a diaper on or off, at 9 am or 11 am or 5 pm or whenever. He is learning and if one more person, Belgian or not, tells me he should be in school, I think I will respond, "he is in school. It is called the SCHOOL OF LIFE."

Frunty know his colours/numbers, can count in English, French, Spanish and Mandarin. I am not trying to make him a genius. We are just trying to introduce him to different things and see what he likes to learn. We do arts and crafts with friends and sometimes alone. On Sunday we made an Easter wreath for the front door. We read books together and lately, Frunty wants to read books to our Tiny Baby. We have organized play dates several afternoons a week and look out the window while we are on the tram/bus/train to see what we can see.

I am not trying to justify my "attachment parenting style" or explain it in any way. I am recording what is currently happening in our lives here in Belgium. I know two full-time Mom friends in Toronto who do not send their kids to day care or school but instead, take them to programmes each week that involve music and play and other enriching activities. I often wish I could tag along with them because then at least I would feel "normal" sometimes. Here I am an oddity but so be it.

Today a woman at the Little Gym asked me if Frunty were in school and I said "no but we do a lot of activities". And then she said that once the new baby was here, it would be easier for me to have him in school. Well...thanks for your opinion. And of course, it would be easier to have him go in the mornings and perhaps he will be ready when he is three to enjoy pre-school. But the comment really sticks out because she said that it would be easier for ME. Well...I did not have children to make my life easy. And we were never in a rush to have children because we knew how hard it would be and that we would want to make a committment to them and the things that people call "sacrifices" we wanted to call "labours of love".

Sometimes I have to vent. There are just no two ways around it. I am NOT commenting on other peoples' parenting styles and saying that "school" or "day care" do not have some benefits. Some children apparently love both very much and parents have to make choices that feel right and everyone is different. I am just saying that there are many different ways to learn and when we feel that Frunty is ready for "school" we will give it a try. Little by little, we will watch him develop his independence and that means,

NO COLD TURKEY and NO BOOT CAMP.

I think my pregnancy-related hormones are getting the better of me. I have just been battling with myself about what is best and it is a work in process that we will figure out as we go along. No pressure and no rush.

the largest percentage of insecure infants are found in cultures that require the earliest self reliance ..., Sharon Heller

(found on baby sling website www.hugabub.com)

Today was a very happy day. Frunty and I went to Medicis (the medical building) for our fifth month ultrasound of Tiny Baby. We told the doctor that we did not want any results. Boy or girl, perfect or imperfect...we only came because our Dr. de V wanted us too and we want him to know the whole story. Well...the ultrasound doctor (Dr. Cos) told us we were "irresponsible" for not wanting to know and went on and on and on about how we should find out if something were wrong so we could prepare in more ways than one.

So I started to seriously think that something was actually wrong, what with the way she was going on and on about it. And finally she said, "but your baby is fine. Perfect. No problem." (all of this was in French.) By the way, I told her we were not irresponsible but she can think what she wants. I was almost sure she was going to tell us if it was a boy or girl but she didn't. Anyway, as far as she can tell, everything is just fine. She also asked Frunty's birth weight and thinks that Tiny Baby will probably be bigger. We shall see. And two ultrasounds now predict the 14th of June as the likely due date. We were on cloud nine after the appointment.

During the appointment, Frunty played with his plastercine on the ground and a little truck and a chop stick and had fun. I told him to look at the tv screen to see our Tiny Baby and he said, "cool". After he asked me, "feeling better now? Tiny Baby fine?" It really seems like Frunty is aware of what is going on and is a real sweetheart. Sometimes he asks me when Tiny Baby is coming out. He says "I want him". But when I ask Frunty if it is a boy or girl he always says, "guller".

What a great day!

Today I have to record some very sad news. Our dear friend and neighbour, A, passed away a few days ago. A beautiful, young mother of 4 was overwhelmed by a rare cancer and the chemo that went with it.



Before we moved to Belgium, we saw her almost everyday, walking her kids to and from school and the patience she had with them gave me so much inspiration. When I was pregnant with Frunty, A cheered me up so many times and helped me see the humour not the fear in giving birth. Her stories made me laugh so hard. When we brought our newborn home, A sat on our porch holding him and gave me more pep talks. She was a very giving woman. She was kind and funny. We went to the Paddy's pub a few times, just women, and had some great laughs there too.



Today is A's Memorial Service. At least her pain is over. She told me once that she couldn't understand why she had gotten sick because she thought she had done everything right. She had had her 4 kids before the age of 35. She seemed active and very healthy. The way I saw her carrying around her children, I often thought that she was as strong as an ox both physically and mentally. So mixed with a deep regret are also disbelief and an inability to understand why this happened.

Happy Pancake Tuesday!



I put Frunty into the jogger and met K at Cinq. Park for a one hour run. It was hard because I had gone running the day before and was tired but K was very kind to push the stroller the entire run for me.



Then Frunty and I visited the Airplane museum at Cinq. park which was really fun. We especially enjoyed the helicopters and the model airplanes in their little settings. After that we went to Sel and Sucre, a creperie.



I had forgotten that day that it was Pancake Tuesday but when we went in there, an Irish woman asked us if we were there because it was P.T. That was why she came. I said, "oh that's right!" Good timing. I just chose that place because it is close to the park and we like it. Frunty started with an orange icecream and cone and shared my mushroom crepe with me afterwards. Then we had a crepe au sucre for dessert and I enjoyed a cappucino.



Then we did some shopping and went to a new physiotherapist for pre-natal care. That didn't work out too well. She wanted to teach exercises to me but because she had a room full of balls/sticks, Frunty got too excited. I had brought him a train and his dvd player with Barney from Nonna. Normally that would have kept him quiet in the corner. (I know that here in Belgium, children should be seen but not heard...at least that is the impression we are getting over and over again...)



But how can you compete with balls of different sizes and sticks. We had to leave early because the physiotherapist was getting frustrated and made it quite clear. She said some things to Frunty and then to me that I did not appreciate. She clearly equates being good with being silent and being bad with being excited and happy. Even though her exercises seemed good, I think I will find another physiotherapist. She also said...



"you Americans, all you ever talk about are doing Kegels." First of all, I am not American and making sweeping generalizations like that is so ignorant. Furthermore, we are recommended to do Kegels during and after pregnancy and that is what I learned in Canada and it makes sense to me.



Finally, in my attempt to vent, she did not support my running. My doctor here does and that is one reason I appreciate his support. He says I am doing an excellent job and should continue as long as I am pain-free. I am 5.5 months pregnant and generally running very strong despite the odd run where I feel sluggish. Running slow is fine as long as I am not in pain.



So anyway...although this blog is about having fun with my Babies, it is also a diary for me to remember what goes on and not everything that happens here or anywhere else is always wonderful. But everyone knows that...including those reading my blog! I just say it to myself to keep it in mind.

In the case of good books, the point is not to see how many of them you can get through, but how many can get through to you.-Mortimer J. Adler